Relationships are tricky and with time what once was a picture-perfect romance may seem to dwindle into a series of petty fights and the feeling that your partner doesn’t truly understand you. The fact of the matter is that it’s normal, it’s common for relationships to have rough patches, and honestly, the best part of the climb is the view, the growth, and maturity you both have built at its peak. Starting off a new year means many things for relationships, but most importantly it’s an opportunity to make memories and learn how to love stronger and healthier than ever before.
- WRITE LETTERS
This may be the cheesiest advice ever offered but if you want a healthy relationship in 2021, you need to start writing love letters. Why is that? Letters are romantic yet provide for the ability to share the desires of your heart and unresolved feelings of your mind. Letters can show your partner that you care enough to settle down long enough to jot down your feelings in ink and give them an inner gateway to your mind. Letters show compassion and romance better than any gesture ever could. Relationships are built on communication and by writing your loved one a letter, what you’re really doing is showing them how special they are to you.
2. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY
Out of all things this tip is the most important one. If you cherish your relationship do not go to bed angry, this is because going to sleep while angry allows for resentment to pour over your heart at night and force you to wake up in the morning feeling distant and defeated. While it’s easy to throw in the towel and shut down, refusing to argue anymore, it’s important both you and your partner feel heard. It’s okay if you both don’t see eye to eye. When the day is done it’s better to agree to disagree, and understanding that sometimes you both will see things differently. Relationships are all about new ideas and benefiting from the differences your significant other brings, by going to bed angry you’re letting their differences be your downfall; instead, let them bring you joy.
3. LEARN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE
The idea of ‘love languages’ has been around for a while, but for some reasons, some people just don’t see the value in learning about them. However, going into 2021 try it out and learn your partner’s love language, and measure the benefits it has on the relationship. If your partner is quality time then plan a movie date at home or maybe a virtual dinner date over Zoom. If they want physical touch then go out of your way to shower them with kisses or hold their hand at every opportunity. Learning your significant other’s love language should be viewed as silly or stupid because really what your doing is taking the time to learn about what makes them happy. The most common reason why relationships go south is that each partner thinks they’ve done enough to make each other happy, and while there’s no denying that each has put in their fair share of effort it may not be things that actually please the other person. For example, although picking strawberries in a field to give to your girlfriend is a romantic gesture in itself but what happens if she is allergic to strawberries. If you would have just done your homework you would have known that she would have preferred apples instead. Really that’s all it is to it, in 2021 do your homework.
4. FIND A COMMON HOBBY BUT MAKE SURE TO HAVE YOUR OWN
I think we all secretly wish our relationship resembled the couples on social media who are always laughing and seem like they do everything and anything together. While having common hobbies is important, it’s also meaningful to note that people need their own time alone as well. For example, both you and your partner agree to binge Greys Anatomy together and have come to the consensus that watching it without each other is the most royal betrayal. But on the other hand, you both also have your own shows, you The Office, and your partner Parks And Recreation. A similar example would be you both love to work out together and hit the gym every morning, but when you head home you decide to read novels while your partner plays Call Of Duty. It’s time to realize that it’s okay for couples to not spend every waking moment together and that sometimes people just need time to breathe in their own bubbles. Really, having your own identity, in addition to your partner, is the only way not to lose yourself in the relationship, and it’s the best way to keep it healthy.
5. ASK THEM ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED
Sometimes in relationships, we become obsessed with the idea that the definition of a healthy relationship is that relationship that makes us happy, rarely do we think of this happiness as a two-way street; however, the happiness of our partner is just as important as our own. In 2021, make it a routine to ask your loved one “what do you need?”. Asking them directly what they need may sound forward and maybe a little bit too direct, but by asking this way you get the opportunity to understand what they need in a relationship, what they need from you. Relationships can be difficult, trying to navigate the unspoken words, confusing body language, and secret beliefs about one another. In 2021, make dating, marriage, or getting to know someone an easier experience by just asking what is it they need to feel loved by you.
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